Friday, August 08, 2003
The Next Level of HELL!!!
After years of working at the mercy of others who could give less than monkey's red mite-infested butthole about me, I started my own business. I decided to put all those years of office experience to use on my own behalf. I got a business license and started my own at-home word processing and transcription service. I put together a Business Plan and actually snagged a large corporate client.
Not bad really. It's a double-edged sword kind of thing. On one edge you MUST have at least one client to make it legitimate and worthwhile. Flip the sword over and you realize that if something goes wrong with that client, then you're F@%$ED! Fortunately, the nature of my client's work pretty much guarantees me that I don't have to worry about them going out of business any time soon. So what I really have to be careful of is MYSELF! Everything will be fine unless I mess things up! With that said, my transcripton machine went haywire and broke down today! Just what I needed since I was working on a rush document.
Another person also does this work for the client. However, they have us working under two completely different sets of requirements. They told her that she doesn't have to worry about deadlines or time limits. They told me they want a maximum of a one-week turnaround. So they give me 3 tapes on Tuesday and I complete one and email the transcription to them on Wednesday. Because of that, they absolutley LOVE my work. I feel kind of bad for the other girl because they give her as many as six or eight tapes with no deadline. Then they applaud me for being sooooo fast with only two tapes.
Of course, that's how executives think. There is no logic to it at all. We'll give one person a lot less work and then throw roses at their feet when they finish a lot sooner than the person who had 4 times as much to do!!
So I ate cinnamon sticky buns that I bought at an Amish (Pennsylvania Dutch) bakery. Let me tell you something. Those women may not be much on modern clothing, but they make up for it in the kitchen. Who needs haute cotour when you can cook your booty off!
Oh yeah, I bought a new transcriber! It's absolutely true . . . YOU HAVE TO SPEND MONEY TO MAKE MONEY!!
Not bad really. It's a double-edged sword kind of thing. On one edge you MUST have at least one client to make it legitimate and worthwhile. Flip the sword over and you realize that if something goes wrong with that client, then you're F@%$ED! Fortunately, the nature of my client's work pretty much guarantees me that I don't have to worry about them going out of business any time soon. So what I really have to be careful of is MYSELF! Everything will be fine unless I mess things up! With that said, my transcripton machine went haywire and broke down today! Just what I needed since I was working on a rush document.
Another person also does this work for the client. However, they have us working under two completely different sets of requirements. They told her that she doesn't have to worry about deadlines or time limits. They told me they want a maximum of a one-week turnaround. So they give me 3 tapes on Tuesday and I complete one and email the transcription to them on Wednesday. Because of that, they absolutley LOVE my work. I feel kind of bad for the other girl because they give her as many as six or eight tapes with no deadline. Then they applaud me for being sooooo fast with only two tapes.
Of course, that's how executives think. There is no logic to it at all. We'll give one person a lot less work and then throw roses at their feet when they finish a lot sooner than the person who had 4 times as much to do!!
So I ate cinnamon sticky buns that I bought at an Amish (Pennsylvania Dutch) bakery. Let me tell you something. Those women may not be much on modern clothing, but they make up for it in the kitchen. Who needs haute cotour when you can cook your booty off!
Oh yeah, I bought a new transcriber! It's absolutely true . . . YOU HAVE TO SPEND MONEY TO MAKE MONEY!!
Tuesday, August 05, 2003
Warning, Warning!!
Yo, if anybody EVER offers you a pizza flavored burrito, here's what you do:
1. Smile and politely turn it down.
2. Give 'em a good ole fashioned backhanded slap!!
These things are an abomination!! The world MUST be rid of them to make life safe for all humanity!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1. Smile and politely turn it down.
2. Give 'em a good ole fashioned backhanded slap!!
These things are an abomination!! The world MUST be rid of them to make life safe for all humanity!!!!!!!!!!!!!
