Drop Dat Donut!

That's the question I've been asking all day today. How much longer? How much longer will I live? How much longer will I have to endure this sham of a life? I'm not suicidal, but the outlook of my future doesn't inspire me to want to wake up in the morning.

When things get this dark and dismal I turn to chocolate, my one consistent friend. For the first time ever, there was no consolation in our union!

How much longer must I wonder how much longer?

Yo! (That's Philly-speak for hello or hey or what the hell is YOUR problem.) ((In this case, it's hello.))

I need to be ashamed for not blogging here more often! Ashamed I say!!! But, I'm not. So there. Anyway, I went to Arizona to visit my friend EL and her dog ESS whom I often refer to as ESSie-poo. I flew out of the East Coast Capital of Boredom aka the City of Brotherly Love on Thanksgiving Day. It was a nice trip and I'm happy I went. For a while there, I thought it was going to be one of those T'givings that my future seems doomed to repeat over and over, where I sit in front of a television and enjoy some turkey-flavored Lean Cuisine meal. Ohhhhh, the excitement of all.

I stayed for 6 days and a good bit of our time was spent with me taking pictures all over the place. EL didn't take a lot for probably the same reasons why I wouldn't if she was visiting here. When you there, you have the luxury of taking pictures at a particular location whenever you want. I only get out there to visit her once a year or so. She took a photography class and has truly become a photographer. I've had an interest in photography for a number of years, but I've only gotten "serious" about it in the past few months. Most of that renewed interest is because I was seeing EL's fabulous pictures and I wanted to "try" to do something like that too. Thus far, I have some GREAT pictures, but a lot of SHIT pictures. Hee heee, I got some that are so blurred your eyes hurt from trying to focus on them. Well, I think it's the fault of the developer at the lab. Yeah, that's it. The developers at the lab, they did it.

Most of our driving time was spent admiring the skies and sunsets. We ate M&M Cookie bars to keep us from starving. Those boyz are deeee-lish I might add.

We got together with EL's friend AR for the day on Sunday after T'giving. I think AR is EL's best buddy. They hang out a lot. I was feeling good when I realized at some point during the day I wasn't mulling over all sorts of childish "Pay attention to ME and only me!" kindz of crap. Oh there was a time when I was so dependent on anyone who was a close friend that I think I would have had them sign contracts swearing to their friendship. Yes, I was pathetic. But times have changed, I have changed, my thinking has changed, and self-esteem has grown ... AT LAST. Besides, AR was very open and friendly. She didn't come off like the friend of a friend who is smiling, but staring at you when you aren't looking, trying to size you up. That's the best too, when you meet a friend's friend and you two get along.

Anyway, we started off at church, the Mission at San Xavier de Bac (or is that del Bac?). Then we ended up in a seedy little border town called Nogales. On this side of the border, you're in Nogales, Arizona. Once you cross over you're in Mexico. You can do some good shopping down there for household decorative items. Of course EL has the bargaining skill that I lack. I see something similar here in Philly for $150 and see it down there for $45, I figure I've already caught a deal. EL can get them down to $18 and I feel like dimwit.

Yes, the conclusion of the previous chapter in relating with ass wads on the internet. I'm feeling too lazy to continue on with all the gory details of dealing with this hag. She was someone that I'd thought was alright, but after close to 6 years of association, has some her true colors!

TO HELL WITH HER! Life's too short to let annoying people and their self-important attitudes get in your way. So I'm taking my own advice and moving on!

There are some people in the world who shouldn't die before someone has taken them to an empty field and beaten the crap out of them! One such person is the woman who runs this email newsletter I receive. There are days when I look around and think people are truly amazing. Then there are days like today. This woman is one of those who reminds me of some of the uglier things involved with being a human.

OK, so let me backtrack a bit. The newsletter is for a british soap (Eastenders). There is a small, but loyal audience for the show here in the States. Public broadcasting stations carried the show in most major cities. As time went by, the number of stations carrying diminished. Then came digital cable and satellite dishes. The BBC has a cable station that airs in the US, BBC America. They air the current episodes being seen in the UK. Well, current as in about 3 weeks behind. However, that's preferable to the 2 or 3 years behind like the PBS stations.

Anyway, because the audience for the show is fairly small in the first place and not everybody has satellite or digital cable, the ratings for the show were very low. BBC America decided to drop the show from its lineup. The fans are truly pissed and there are petitions and letter writing campaigns underway.

Now, if you EVER want to know what kind of people to NOT make angry, right at the top of the list is SOAP OPERA VIEWERS! Long story short, thousands of people are making copies of the show on videotape, DVD, and CD. America is about to be flooded with bootleg Eastenders. So that leads me to the EVIL FAT BITCH that we can call Gayle!

She's one of those people who through the miracle of cutting and pasting distributes a weekly newsletter to fans. In this newsletter will be: comments from fans in the form of emails that she pastes in; news articles; photos of the actors. Of course the news articles are rare for this show and its actors in this country, so they are treasured bits of info. Treasured that is, until you've read the article for the 5th time!! You see, the EVIL ONE gets carried away with that pasting thing. 6 people send in an article; so pastes it in the newsletter all 6 times.

Alrighty, back to the bootlegging! Fans have formed tape trains. They work this way: You tape a show, mail it to Joe. Joe watches the tape, mails it to Jane. Jane watches the tape, sits it on the coffee table, goes off on a two-week all-inclusive vacation to the Bahamas, comes back and packs to move, misplaces the tape and generally gets pretty snooty when the next recipient emails to say "Hey, I was supposed to get that tape 5 weeks ago!"

Gayle aka SELF-IMPORTANT DEMENTED COW offered those in the weekly chat the grand and glorious opportunity to join her tape train. To hell with anyone who wasn't in the chat room. One sweet but slightly addled senior citizen wrote and requested she be placed on the mailing list. The DAUGHTER OF DARKNESS gets angry because I referred a fellow fan to her. Mind you, this woman was a regular member of the newsletter . . . well until I messed up her mailing controls in an attempt to block out junkmail. Alright, not messed it up exactly. But when you start opening your email to specific senders, you're bound to leave someone or several someones out.

The woman throws a genuine hissy fit when she writes the sweet elderly woman and sees before her eyes "The recipient is not accepting email from you." I explain the situation, apologize and then she gets gets nasty about it all. Read highlights -- yes, I too have THE POWER of performing the cutting and pasting miracle -- in her own malevolent words:

[[ But I'm a soft touch and figured I would add her on. However, when I attempted to respond to her request, I received a note from AOL saying she is not accepting e-mail from me. So, that pretty much clinched it and I changed my mind. I will not be adding her to the tape train. This is my final decision. She had her chance but chose not to accept my e-mail. I cannot have people on this a tape train of this magnitude who are foolish enough to refuse e-mail from me.

Gayle]]

Seems like there should be something in there at the end like I, THE GREAT AND GLORIOUS ONE HAVE SPOKEN! So I write her back because I'm an east coast gal and we don't take no sheeeee-yat like chumps!

(angelic harp music)
[[Gayle, While visiting her, I reset her email controls. She was getting loads of junkmail. I showed her how to add in new people, but she's 72 and not the most computer/internet literate person you'll ever come across. I have things all settled out on my train and I added her to my list. I couldn't make her any promises last night because I wasn't 100% on everything.

Sorry for the confusion. I didn't understand that only the chat room guests were being invited as there was so much to read and so much talking going on. I thought newsletter people in general would be welcome to contact you. The email situation was MY fault, not Penelope's ]]

ALRIGHT, SO THAT WAS NICE. BUT LIKE I SAID -- I'M FROM THE EAST COAST BEEEEYATCH!

[[Gayle, I realize that you're probably very stressed out with all the recent happenings as they relate to Eastenders and all the extra emails you've been receiving. However, I would sincerely ask that you not take it out on me or Penelope. We're EE fans too and don't deserve such curtness. I was in error and apologize, but lighten up. No need to be so testy on the subject.

Again, I will take care of her and have already told her so.]]

Nahhh, nahhhh, that ain't all of it. I'm just getting sleepy. Stay tuned for Part II of this donnybrook!

:: settles down to a bag of M&Ms ::

Yes, the combination that shall save mankind from certain destruction . . . deep thoughts and chocolate chips!! I was enjoying a chocolate chip scone today while thinking about my life. I thought about what I've done, what I want to do and the daydreams. Ohhhh, the daydreams are many. Most of them haven't come to fruition. But I honestly believe it's probably just as healthy to have the daydreams as it is to live them out. Hell, maybe even more so.

Have you ever been down and see yourself as Down and Out? I have seen myself that way. In the old days, the 300+ pounds days, I'd usually end up nursing those thoughts with a banana split. Now I just sit and think and ponder. Redundant? Perhaps. Anyway, somewhere along the way as I scooped up a fallen chocolate chip, I realized that my life has NOT been a failure, a disappointment in some areas, but NOT a failure.

I discover that I got some brass ones and they have worked in my favor. You kind of figure that out once you realize that you have 100 stories from the past to tell. Then you realize that you're still alive in the present to tell them. Shit gets ugly, it gets bad, and then, mercifully, it passes. It passed for me time and time again.

You know what -- Nietzsche was right . . . If it don't kill you, it makes you stronger!

After years of working at the mercy of others who could give less than monkey's red mite-infested butthole about me, I started my own business. I decided to put all those years of office experience to use on my own behalf. I got a business license and started my own at-home word processing and transcription service. I put together a Business Plan and actually snagged a large corporate client.

Not bad really. It's a double-edged sword kind of thing. On one edge you MUST have at least one client to make it legitimate and worthwhile. Flip the sword over and you realize that if something goes wrong with that client, then you're F@%$ED! Fortunately, the nature of my client's work pretty much guarantees me that I don't have to worry about them going out of business any time soon. So what I really have to be careful of is MYSELF! Everything will be fine unless I mess things up! With that said, my transcripton machine went haywire and broke down today! Just what I needed since I was working on a rush document.

Another person also does this work for the client. However, they have us working under two completely different sets of requirements. They told her that she doesn't have to worry about deadlines or time limits. They told me they want a maximum of a one-week turnaround. So they give me 3 tapes on Tuesday and I complete one and email the transcription to them on Wednesday. Because of that, they absolutley LOVE my work. I feel kind of bad for the other girl because they give her as many as six or eight tapes with no deadline. Then they applaud me for being sooooo fast with only two tapes.

Of course, that's how executives think. There is no logic to it at all. We'll give one person a lot less work and then throw roses at their feet when they finish a lot sooner than the person who had 4 times as much to do!!

So I ate cinnamon sticky buns that I bought at an Amish (Pennsylvania Dutch) bakery. Let me tell you something. Those women may not be much on modern clothing, but they make up for it in the kitchen. Who needs haute cotour when you can cook your booty off!

Oh yeah, I bought a new transcriber! It's absolutely true . . . YOU HAVE TO SPEND MONEY TO MAKE MONEY!!

Yo, if anybody EVER offers you a pizza flavored burrito, here's what you do:

1. Smile and politely turn it down.
2. Give 'em a good ole fashioned backhanded slap!!

These things are an abomination!! The world MUST be rid of them to make life safe for all humanity!!!!!!!!!!!!!